Archive for Automobile Emissions

On to the men!

August 1, 2008 at 10:44 am · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Mr. Green Fairy, The Green Fairy's Stupid Ex-Boyfriends

“Boy, Green Fairy,” you’re probably saying. “You sure dated some dumb guys.”

It’s totally true. Even fairies make errors in judgment, when it comes to men. But if you could meet Mr. Green Fairy, you’d realize that I’ve totally mended the error of my ways. You should see Mr. Fairy on the roads: Confident, sure, and conscientious. No jackrabbit starts, no street racing, no high-speed pursuits.

Mr. Fairy is manly enough to drive like a human.

What about your Mr.? The Green Fairy has heard around the office lately about husbands and boyfriends who drive like The Green Fairy’s ex-boyfriend: pedal to the metal. (And then, inevitably, to the brake, at the next light.)

Ladies, talk to your men. First, tell them you won’t think they’re any less manly if they obey the speed limit. Tell them you won’t question their manhood if they don’t lay down rubber at every intersection. Tell them you find fuel economy sexy.

Maybe, with a little encouragement, you can change their driving habits. Then we can start on our stupid ex-boyfriends.

Have a great weekend, my friends! Love, The Green Fairy

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Slow, speed racer!

July 30, 2008 at 12:01 pm · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Momentum, The Green Fairy's Stupid Ex-Boyfriends

Hello, my friends! This week, we’re discussing the Green Fairy’s ex-boyfriend’s un-green driving.

A lot of men, young and old, feel that their driving style reflects who they are. This translates, as we discussed yesterday, into treating green lights as the starting gun at the Indy 500, and slamming on the accelerator the moment the light turns.

It also translates into driving really really fast, weaving through traffic like they’re Han Solo navigating an asteroid field.

What my ex-boyfriend doesn’t realize is that driving at 75 or 80 miles an hour—okay, 90 or 95, to be more precise—is not just unsafe, it also burns through a lot more gas. The ideal, most fuel-efficient speed to drive your car is 55 miles per hour. This is the speed where you will save the most fuel. For every five mph you drive over 55, you lose 10 percent of your fuel efficiency. Driving at 70 miles per hour means you’ll use 40 percent more gas.

So just let my ex-boyfriend blow by you on the freeway, while you toddle along at 60 or 65. (I know doing 55 on the freeway is scary, so take a stand in the sixties.) Again, he’ll have to stop for gas, and you can use the extra dollars to buy a bouquet of flowers.

Stupid ex-boyfriends!

Love, The Green Fairy

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It’s not a street race.

July 29, 2008 at 9:44 am · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Momentum, The Green Fairy's Stupid Ex-Boyfriends

Oh, readers, how I’ve neglected you! The Green Fairy was busy sewing clothes out of waterlilies, and forgot to bring you your daily update yesterday! My apologies.

Today we’re talking about how to avoid red lights. Because red lights mean “stop,” and when you stop your car, you’re getting zero miles per gallon.

Okay, so maybe I’ve misled you. There’s no way to avoid red lights altogether. But you can spend less time stopped at them. Let’s do a thought experiment. You, in your nice little car, are sitting at a red light. Next to you is The Green Fairy’s ex-boyfriend, in his souped-up red Honda. You can hear his stereo thumping.

When the light turns green, the Green Fairy’s ex guns the engine, leaving you in a cloud of exhaust. He doesn’t get far, though, because at the next intersection, the light is red. You see ex-boyfriend’s brake lights.

You, brilliant thing that you are, accelerate your car slowly. As ex-boyfriend roars away, you say, “See you at the next light, buddy!” You accelerate gradually out of that first light and maintain a moderate speed. When the second light changes, you’ve already got the momentum to carry you through it. Macho man in the red sportscar, who raced to the red light, now has to accelerate out of a standstill, which is much more difficult (read: gas-guzzling) than coasting at a moderate speed.

Which means he’s going to spend his money on gas, while you can go buy yourself an iced tea.

This week, we’ll talk more about the Green Fairy’s ex-boyfriends’ driving habits, and why they waste a lot of gas! Fun!

Love, The Green Fairy

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American Idle

July 23, 2008 at 9:54 am · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Momentum

This’ll be the last post this week—the Green Fairy gets Pioneer Day Weekend off. But before I sign off to go make Jell-o salads and stake out my spot for the parade, let’s finish talking about idling cars.

You probably don’t actually idle your car all that much, right? At least, not at 10-minute intervals like my dopey neighbor. But there are probably a lot of times when your car is running but you’re not moving. Long red lights come to mind.

Now, I’m not advocating that you turn off your engine when you hit a red light. No, I have a more brilliant plan: try not to hit red lights at all.

“Oh,” you might say, “easy for the Green Fairy to say. Fairies never hit red lights.”

And it’s true, I do just flit through the valley on my sparkly wings. But I still know a thing or two about momentum.

This is getting long, so you’ll have to wait for next week for my answer, but maybe you can come up with the answer yourself. Here’s your homework:

1) Run 100 feet, at top speed. But stop every 20 feet, count to three, then start again.

2) Now, run 100 feet, at moderate speed, without stopping.

We’ll talk about my logic next week. Happy 161st anniversary of Pioneer Day, everyone!

Love, The Green Fairy

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Why idling is bad for everyone

July 22, 2008 at 10:02 am · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Venting

So why was I so mad at my neighbor for idling his car for ten minutes?

First, because he just wasted lots of gas. For ten minutes, his car was getting ZERO miles per gallon. Second, because a running car emits particulates into the air, and those nasties will eventually give me lung cancer. Third, and most important, because it represents somebody who just wasn’t thinking about his actions, who decided to trade responsibility for short-term personal comfort.

Of course, my darlings, I know you would never let your car sit idle for ten minutes. But on days like today, when it’s hot and you’re busy, I bet you’re tempted. Tempted to drive through the ATM line at the bank instead of going in. Tempted to buy your coffee from the drive-through. Tempted to listen to the radio and blast the A/C while you wait for your kids outside the school.

It’s not all your fault. Some know-it-all dude probably told you once that you use more gas turning on the car than you do by idling it. Baloney. Newer cars are so efficient at ignition, you can turn the car off if you’ll be stopped for 30 seconds or more. Heck, make it a minute, and that’s still less time than you’ll wait for your chicken nuggets at the drive-through.

I know, I know, it’s hot, and cars heat up quickly, but remember: we’re not going to become the Greatest Generation like our parents and grandparents if we don’t accept a little inconvenience every now and then. Think of it this way: would you ever just pour gas out of the pump and onto the pavement? Let your kids get in a gasoline fight? No! That stuff’s expensive! But that’s exactly what you’re doing when you park it and leave the motor running.

Ladies, kill your motors! Love, the Green Fairy

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My stupid neighbor; or, An Introduction to Idling

July 21, 2008 at 4:04 pm · Filed under Automobile Emissions, Venting

Welcome back from the weekend!  The Green Fairy needs to vent. Here’s what happened: On Saturday afternoon, The Green Fairy and her hubby lounged on their porch in the shade, sipping lemonade and generally avoiding the heat.

Across the street, a neighbor got into his truck, turned on the ignition, then got out and went back in the house.

Then he sat on the porch and enjoyed a cigarette.

Then he went back into the house.

The car was still running.

After about 10 minutes, The Green Fairy, who is outspoken but who endeavors to be polite, knocked on her neighbor’s door to make sure he knew his truck was still running.

“Yeah, I’m just running the air conditioning to make sure I don’t fry when I get in it,” he replied.

The Green Fairy said nothing, but seethed inwardly and had to go inside until her neighbor finally got in his (ice-cold, by now) vehicle and drove away.

Tomorrow, we’ll enumerate the reasons why the Green Fairy’s neighbor is helping kill the planet, and we’ll talk about why idling your car is a lose-lose situation.

Thanks for letting me vent! Love, The Green Fairy

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